Okay, I haven't been here in awhile because Spaces messed up my log-in and wouldn't let me add a blog or edit anything on my space.
Also, I still suffer from suicide ideation and a couple of weeks ago my depression was so bad it scared me. Heeding my own warning, I had my on drive me to the hospital in Fort Worth & was going to check myself into the 10th floor where the rest of the mentally anguished live. However, after sitting there ALL day until I finally got to see a psychologist who changed my anti-depressant from Paxil to Prozac. She didn't think I needed to stay because I wasn't suicidal at the time & made me promise her that I'd come back if I started thinking about suicide again. Ok. Next time I'm that depressed I'm sure I'll feel like going back to the hospital & up to the 10th floor. During the time I was there, they did a modified strip search to check for dangerous items they could take away from me (including my cigarettes). Of course, they were also looking for bruises and scars and cuts which they didn't find. Then they put packing tape around my purse & my suitcase & took 'em away from me. Talk about depressing, geez. For all of this "service" including my 10 minute chat with the doctor (which took place in the waiting room) I got a bill for $700 +. Now THAT'S depressing!
A couple of days later I got a call from my attorney telling me my appeal is coming up finally. Apparently Social Security sent my case back to the Judge for HIS errors. He didn't consider my weight a contributing factor in my health condition and he did not believe I was suffering from severe depression, even though all the doctors do. So, they'll be sending me back to a doctor of their choice regarding my weight and who knows what else. At least the process is starting again and I'm going to try to remain positive about the results. Maybe my case won't be turned down this time! That in itself would be a 98% cure of my depression.
Another thing that's helping me is that one of my friends made me join Facebook. There are 5 or 6 of my friends on their who apparently keep Facebook open at work (tsk, tsk) where they can keep an eye on what we're all doing. No blogs, just notes from time to time and you can upload pictures. Makes me feel like I'm not completely alone and that I'm actually talking to someone other than myself. LOL Meanwhile, everyone in my "group" are playing Farmville there. We build our farms, plant stuff, harvest it for coins, shop at the market, plow our fields and try to accumulate items we need, like a pair of gloves to pull weeds with! We also take simple quizzes, send each other gifts & comment briefly about things someone in the group has said. There's almost always someone I know signed in. So if any of you are on Facebook, let me know. I use my real name there - Susan Curlee and I'd love to see any of you there.
That's about it for now, enjoying the rain we've been getting Praise the Lord. Just wish there were screens on my windows so I could sleep with them open, but that's minor.
I've messed around on the computer most of the afternoon again. I think I finally have my son's site finished, but I'm having trouble with the link. Also having a problem getting his picture the right size on my page. Anyway, I'm tired of messing with the whole mess. So there.
Otherwise, my financial situation has finally caught up with me & I'm down to approximately $500....period. When that's all gone, I'm literally up the creek without a paddle.
Meanwhile, I keep reminding myself that God is never a minute late & if He brings me to it, His Grace will see me through it. Those of you who prayer, please put me on your list & add me to the list at your church. This next month will be "do or die" around here.
Love you people!
I've messed around here for hours today & am still not done. I hope to update the photo albums soon, I mean how many of you really want to look at someone else's family? Although I post most of those for my family to see. Still
I'm going to post one new one here of my handsome son & his equally pretty wife. Some of their wedding pics can be seen on Keri's site: http://www.KeriAllen.myspace.com (I think).
Still open for suggestions of other things you think I should put on here! Meanwhile....here they are!
Can't believe I haven't done anything to this mess since saying I was going to back in May. Also can't believe I haven't been back here since May! I have few excuses, other than two new RX's were added to my stuffed medicine chest & one of them seems to make me groggy. So I take advantage of that & stretch out in the recliner where I watch movies all day. Now I'm making an effort to get up & walk more, I've changed my eating habits back to where they belong so I can lose some serious weight, & I'm trying to stay positive about my financial woes.
My son got married in June. They had planned to do that in Mexico but because of the Swine Flu going around down there, they changed directions & went to Florida. Only Keri's family & friends were there. I thought they flew down, but after they were back I discovered they'd driven. Gee whiz, had I know they were driving I might have been able to afford the trip myself. Guess it's better that I saved my money so I'm glad no one told me they were driving! Once they got home they had a reception for all the friends & families. Keri had made a video of the two of them, along with different family members to play during the reception & it made me cry. (I get so emotional so easily!)
Hope all of you had a good 4th of July. I had the best one I've had in years & years. Danny & Keri had a bbq at their house, invited his horseshoe throwing buddies along with me, her parents & Casey's mom & step-dad. We sat in the front yard & three of their neighbors (across the street) were setting off their fireworks. One of those families must have spent at least $1,000 on fireworks so we had a very good show, even better than the city put on the last few years. This was the first 4th I've been able to share with Danny & Casey (since Danny was a little kid) & that's what made it special for me.
Danny finally got my GPS (Christmas present from him) set up & installed. I really needed one of those the last couple of years when I was trying to find the place for Casey's out of town ballgames. Wouldn't you know it? He says he's not playing football next year (his Freshman) but may go out for track. He's really not big enough to play football, I have to admit, but none of us know if he's any good at track. I just want him to get interested in something besides video games. On the other hand, when he's sitting in front of that game console we know where he is!
Yes, I'm still planning to update this space & once I get my CD of wedding pics I'll post a couple here. Hope all is well with the rest of you & I'll do my best not to be gone so long this time.
Just want to let any of you who stop by that this space is due for a serious re-do. I'm sick to death of looking at the same ol' stuff when I come here & I'll bet those of you who come by fairly often are too. So be patient with me because it will probably take several days & I can only sit in this position for limited amounts of time. Plus I have to make up my mind exactly what parts I want to change or delete as well as whatever I may want to add.
So if you drop in and things look stranger than usual, it's probably still "under construction" because I have serious doubts about getting it all done at once!
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