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    Update

    Okay, I haven't been here in awhile because Spaces messed up my log-in and wouldn't let me add a blog or edit anything on my space.
     
    Also, I still suffer from suicide ideation and a couple of weeks ago my depression was so bad it scared me. Heeding my own warning, I had my on drive me to the hospital in Fort Worth & was going to check myself into the 10th floor where the rest of the mentally anguished live. However, after sitting there ALL day until I finally got to see a psychologist who changed my anti-depressant from Paxil to Prozac. She didn't think I needed to stay because I wasn't suicidal at the time & made me promise her that I'd come back if I started thinking about suicide again.  Ok. Next time I'm that depressed I'm sure I'll feel like going back to the hospital & up to the 10th floor.  During the time I was there, they did a modified strip search to check for dangerous items they could take away from me (including my cigarettes). Of course, they were also looking for bruises and scars and cuts which they didn't find. Then they put packing tape around my purse & my suitcase & took 'em away from me. Talk about depressing, geez. For all of this "service" including my 10 minute chat with the doctor (which took place in the waiting room) I got a bill for $700 +. Now THAT'S depressing!
     
    A couple of days later I got a call from my attorney telling me my appeal is coming up finally. Apparently Social Security sent my case back to the Judge for HIS errors. He didn't consider my weight a contributing factor in my health condition and he did not believe I was suffering from severe depression, even though all the doctors do. So, they'll be sending me back to a doctor of their choice regarding my weight and who knows what else. At least the process is starting again and I'm going to try to remain positive about the results. Maybe my case won't be turned down this time! That in itself would be a 98% cure of my depression.
     
    Another thing that's helping me is that one of my friends made me join Facebook. There are 5 or 6 of my friends on their who apparently keep Facebook open at work (tsk, tsk) where they can keep an eye on what we're all doing. No blogs, just notes from time to time and you can upload pictures. Makes me feel like I'm not completely alone and that I'm actually talking to someone other than myself. LOL Meanwhile, everyone in my "group" are playing Farmville there. We build our farms, plant stuff, harvest it for coins, shop at the market, plow our fields and try to accumulate items we need, like a pair of gloves to pull weeds with! We also take simple quizzes, send each other gifts & comment briefly about things someone in the group has said. There's almost always someone I know signed in. So if any of you are on Facebook, let me know. I use my real name there - Susan Curlee and I'd love to see any of you there.
     
    That's about it for now, enjoying the rain we've been getting Praise the Lord. Just wish there were screens on my windows so I could sleep with them open, but that's minor.
     

    Etc., Etc., Etc.

    I've messed around on the computer most of the afternoon again. I think I finally have my son's site finished, but I'm having trouble with the link. Also having a problem getting his picture the right size on my page. Anyway, I'm tired of messing with the whole mess. So there.
     
    Otherwise, my financial situation has finally caught up with me & I'm down to approximately $500....period. When that's all gone, I'm literally up the creek without a paddle.
     
    Meanwhile, I keep reminding myself that God is never a minute late & if He brings me to it, His Grace will see me through it. Those of you who prayer, please put me on your list & add me to the list at your church. This next month will be "do or die" around here.
     
    Love you people!

    Danny & Keri

     

    I've messed around here for hours today & am still not done. I hope to update the photo albums soon, I mean how many of you really want to look at someone else's family? Although I post most of those for my family to see. Still

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    I'm going to post one new one here of my handsome son & his equally pretty wife. Some of their wedding pics can be seen on Keri's site: http://www.KeriAllen.myspace.com (I think).

    Still open for suggestions of other things you think I should put on here!  Meanwhile....here they are!

    Keri & Danny

    I'm Baaaack!!!!

    Can't believe I haven't done anything to this mess since saying I was going to back in May. Also can't believe I haven't been back here since May! I have few excuses, other than two new RX's were added to my stuffed medicine chest & one of them seems to make me groggy. So I take advantage of that & stretch out in the recliner where I watch movies all day. Now I'm making an effort to get up & walk more, I've changed my eating habits back to where they belong so I can lose some serious weight, & I'm trying to stay positive about my financial woes.
     
    My son got married in June. They had planned to do that in Mexico but because of the Swine Flu going around down there, they changed directions & went to Florida. Only Keri's family & friends were there. I thought they flew down, but after they were back I discovered they'd driven. Gee whiz, had I know they were driving I might have been able to afford the trip myself. Guess it's better that I saved my money so I'm glad no one told me they were driving! Once they got home they had a reception for all the friends & families. Keri had made a video of the two of them, along with different family members to play during the reception & it made me cry. (I get so emotional so easily!)
     
    Hope all of you had a good 4th of July. I had the best one I've had in years & years. Danny & Keri had a bbq at their house, invited his horseshoe throwing buddies along with me, her parents & Casey's mom & step-dad. We sat in the front yard & three of their neighbors (across the street) were setting off their fireworks. One of those families must have spent at least $1,000 on fireworks so we had a very good show, even better than the city put on the last few years. This was the first 4th I've been able to share with Danny & Casey (since Danny was a little kid) & that's what made it special for me.
     
    Danny finally got my GPS (Christmas present from him) set up & installed. I really needed one of those the last couple of years when I was trying to find the place for Casey's out of town ballgames. Wouldn't you know it? He says he's not playing football next year (his Freshman) but may go out for track. He's really not big enough to play football, I have to admit, but none of us know if he's any good at track. I just want him to get interested in something besides video games. On the other hand, when he's sitting in front of that game console we know where he is!
     
    Yes, I'm still planning to update this space & once I get my CD of wedding pics I'll post a couple here. Hope all is well with the rest of you & I'll do my best not to be gone so long this time.

    Quick Note

    Just want to let any of you who stop by that this space is due for a serious re-do. I'm sick to death of looking at the same ol' stuff when I come here & I'll bet those of you who come by fairly often are too.  So be patient with me because it will probably take several days & I can only sit in this position for limited amounts of time. Plus I have to make up my mind exactly what parts I want to change or delete as well as whatever I may want to add.
     
    So if you drop in and things look stranger than usual, it's probably still "under construction" because I have serious doubts about getting it all done at once!

    Birds & Bees, Cacti & Trees - And A Shotgun

    Texas is in the midst of its rainy spring and I've been sitting here with door wide open (hey, it's a small change from my usual view) while the weather is cool. So, it's just me and my flyswatter for the time being.  The sickly mesquite tree that makes up most of my view is drooping, either from all the rain or because of that dang cactus that grows in a four foot radius all around it. The cactus itself look like a dog or something of that size took several dives into the middle. They're squished back from the surrounding leaves (?). I don't know what the individual limbs on a cactus are actually called. At any rate, it could have been one of 4 roaming dogs from some of the "way over there" houses, or a wolf, fox, or bobcat since we have all of those. Geez, I'm STILL a city girl.  I've been enjoying what view God gave me which also includes little clumps of wild flowers because when my landlord mows the refuses to mow down any time of flower. There must be at least 10 acres out here and all over the place one can see clumps of dead grass (because he was gone 2 weeks and it needed mowing before he left) and little clumps of flowers. I have yet to see any of the hummingbirds drinking from said flowers, but yesterday one kept trying to drink out of a large painted ceramic flower. Poor little guy, but no, I am not hanging up a feeder for the little critters.
     
    We have a family of bunnies in that huge cactus too. Four new baby bunnies this year. I see them come out just before dusk and frolic back and forth in front of the cactus. At first the white on their tails was just a tiny spot but now their little bunny tails are white as snow. I never see Mama nor Papa Rabbit, just the playful little bunnies.
     
    Sometimes I get a glimpse of one of the many mocking birds, some sort of scissortail, lots of sparrows, and today there was even a cardinal.  Oh how I miss the days Mama and I sat out on the deck with our bird book and binoculars. We had mocking birds, starlings, wrens, sparrows, cardinals, blue jays, wax wings, pairs of robins, dove, crows, hummingbirds, and even some little colored finches. I miss those days so much this time of the year that it's almost impossible not to tear up from remembering. Yesterday my landlords discovered a bird had built a nest on my right front tire. Little sparrow going back and forth collecting his little bundles. She wanted to get a picture of it but Ken wiped it all off before she could get the camera. My first thought was, "Oh, I can't wait to tell Mama." Such is life.
     
    Of course, once the cool, cloudy weather leaves, out come the yellowjackets we fight all summer. Last year I hung a couple of those traps for wasps, yellowjackets, hornets, etc. It helped some but I still didn't go outside without my handy can of Raid. Got an email today that said using Bounce Dryer Sheets will (among all the other uses) deter yellowjacks if you just stick it out of your pocket. I'm considering the creation of an entire outfit made from them, but lazy as I am these days will probably just carry a couple in my hands.  Or maybe I'll nail them up around my door (know the landlords would appreciate that).
     
    They've been gone for the past two weeks in the RV and are supposed to leave again today and stay gone till the weekend. Kenneth always tells me to "keep an eye on the place" but he flatly refuses to leave me his shotgun. So if I see a bobcat chewing his precious bushes or a wolf nosing around the door, I'm supposed to do.....what, exactly? Throw myself on top of the critter and go for its throat? Burglars could completely strip their house clean (and it's a BIG house), but all I could do would be to call the Sheriff's Dept. all the while knowing how few deputies patrol this county. Perhaps I could slither out far enough to take a picture of their U-Haul, but then I haven't slithered in years so I'm not sure how much good that would do. So what else am I supposed to look out for? A tornado? Ha! If a tornado came near, this little room would blow clear to Oz before it blew a shingle off their house.
     
    Guess it'll be just me and our friendly (albeit somewhat scary) hoot owl with the nearest neighbor out of yelling distance. When it's dark I usually don't step a foot out there. Am I scared to be way out here all alone?  Ha! I spit in the face of Fear! (Right before I run for cover).
     

    Step By Step

    Found this tucked away in my Bible today. Don't remember when I put it there, but it made me think of my situation now.
     
     
    He does not lead me year by year,
    Nor even day by day;
    But step by step my path unfolds,
    My Lord directs my way.
    Tomorrow's plans I do not know,
    I only know this minute;
    But He will say, "This is the way,
    By faith now walk ye in it."
    And I am glad that it is so,
    Today's enough to bear;
    And when tomorrow comes, His grace
    Shall far exceed its care.
    What need to worry then, or fret?
    The God who gave His Son
    Holds all my moments in his hand,
    And gives them, one by one.
     
    ~~ Author Unknown

    Favorite Memories

    I visited a web site today that had a blog about favorite childhood memories. I was astounded at some of the comments from other people talking about their favorite memories. Have to tell you these kids were obviously from families with more money than mine ever had, or maybe they were written by people much younger than I am. Some of them listed trips they'd taken (Disneyland,  Disney World, Aspen to ski, going to their summer home), some listed favorite toys (their first go-cart, video games, iPods, cell phones). I know that group is younger than me because other than go-carts none of the rest had been invented when I was a child.
     
    Mainly what struct me about the many comments left was that they were all about an object or a place. No one mentioned memories of people. Maybe I'm the only one that finds that strange but every one of my favorite memories contain another person. I have many memories of my childhood, some good, others bad (don't we all?) so to name just some of them, I would have listed my favorite childhood memories as:
     
    1. All those times Daddy picked me up from the baby sitter (my grandmother) and as soon as we arrived home my older (by 7 years) sister would run up to the car, open my door, drag me across the yard to a clover patch & begin tickling me until our laughter turned to tears! At least mine did.
     
    2. All of those games my mama made up to entertain us when we didn't have a television, such as "I'm thinking of something blue!" The object had to be in the room where we were and my sister & I would race to see which of us could find the particular "blue" object Mother was thinking about.
     
    3. The stories Mother read to us. We grew up on the "Bobbsy Twins," "Uncle Remus," and "Lou-Lou, Alice & Jimmy Wibblewobble, the Duck Children," and anything about "Uncle Wiggly."
     
    4. Any time my sister was in a good mood & treated me like her friend instead of her bratty little sister!
     
    5. Trips to the drive-in movies when she & I would spread a quilt outside the car & sit on it to watch the movie. We'd listen to "Cross Over the Bridge" (I can't remember who sang it) on the speakers & giggle a lot.
     
    6. The picnics we took to the cemetery where most of our family is buried. We'd use great, great granddaddy's headstone as a table!
     
    I could go on forever but my point is that when listing favorite childhood memories, mine don't include "things." They include my two favorite family members!

    Texas, My Texas

    I know this is long, but I received it in an email today from 2 different people. I'm going to try
    to adjust the spacing but as we all know, Live has a mind of its own!
     
    Have you ever looked at a map of the world?
     
    Look at Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast, and the Red River and the
    Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it they
    know what it is. It's Texas. Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt and he'll know what it is. What happens
    if I show you a picture of any other state? You might get it maybe after a second or two, but who else would? And even if you do, does it ever
    stir any feelings in you?
     
    In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan, get
    up on a horse or ride off in a pickup. There is a little bit of Texas in everyone. Texas is the Alamo. Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for
    the cause of freedom. We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and James Bowie and Davy Crockett, and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand and they decided to cross it and be heroes. John Wayne paid to do the movie himself.
    That is the Spirit of Texas. Texas is Sam Houston capturing Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana at San Jacinto. Texas is huge forests of Piney Woods
    like the Davy Crockett and Sam Houston National Forests. Texas is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend. Texas is the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the Texas Hill Country. Texas is floating the rivers of the Hill Country on a hot summer day. Texas is the beautiful, warm
    beaches of the Gulf Coast of South Texas. Texas is beaches you can drive on and have many memorable bon-fires with close friends.

    Texas is that warm feeling you get when someone asks where you're from. Texas is the shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas & Fort Worth.
    Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork, Possum Kingdom, Lake Travis and crappe from Fort Phantom lake. Texas is Mexican foods 
    like nowhere else, not even Mexico. Texas is chicken fried steak, calf fries and world famous Bar-B-Q. Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards, Bass Hall, the Ballpark in Arlington, Gruene Dance Hall, and the Astrodome.  (Guess now the Reliant Stadium too).

    Texas is larger-than-life legends like Michael DeBakey, Ann Richards, Denton Cooley, Willie Nelson, Buddy Holly, Gene Autry, Audie Murphy,
    Tommy Lee Jones, Waylon Jennings, Farrah Fawcet, Janis Joplin, Sandra Bullock, Matthew McConaughey, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Landry, Eva Longoria, Darrell Royal, ZZ Top, Eric Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Sam Rayburn, Howard Hughes, George H. W. Bush, Lyndon B. Johnson, and let's not forget GEORGE STRAIT, the Big Bopper, Tex Ritter, George Jones, Clay Walker, Mark Chestnut, to name ONLY a few.

    Texas is great companies like Dell Computer, Texas Instruments, EDS and Compaq, Whataburger, Southwest Airlines, Bell Helicopter and LOCKHEED MARTIN AEROSPACE, Home of the F-16 Jet Fighter and the JSF Fighter, Valero. 
    Texas is NASA.

    Texas is huge herds of cattle, beautiful horses and miles of crops. Texas is home to the world famous King Ranch.  Texas is home to the most amazing sunsets of gold over an empty field. Texas is hundreds of deer running around rural neighborhoods and fields. Texas is skies blackened with doves
     and fields full of deer. Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the local high school football game on Friday nights and for the Cowboys on Monday Night Football, and for the night In Old San Antonio River Parade in San Antonio.

    To drive across Texas is to drive 1/3 the way across the United States. Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies, and modern cities. If it isn't already in Texas, you probably don't need it.

    By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. that can fly its flag at the same height as the U.S. Flag. Think about that for a second.
    You fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland, California, or Maine, and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17 feet. You fly the
    Stars and Stripes in front of Klein Oak High or anyplace else at 20 feet, the Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet. Do you know why?
    Because it is the only state that was a Republic before it became a state. Also, being a Texan is as high as being an American down here. Our
    capitol is the only one in the country that is taller than the capitol building in Washington , D.C.  And we can divide our state into five states at any
    time if we wanted to! We can become a republic again at any time the voters of Texas choose, and we included these things as
    part of the deal when we came on. That's the best part, right there. And don't even lie to yourself... Did I mention Live Music Capitol of the world? Texas even has its own power grid!!

     

    GOD BLESS TEXAS !!!!!!!!!!






    Falling Up & Down

    I've never been considered a graceful person. I'm forever stumping my toe on one leg of the bed, knocking my head off trying to get in the car, and my mother used to remind me I was supposed to be a little girl as she kissed my scraped knees. By the time I was 10 she'd given up. I was the daughter who sat on a fence post while twirling my hula hoop around one ankle, the one who often rode her bike by standing up & throwing both hands in the air, tore one shin open when climbing the metal steps to the slide and had to go get a tetnus shot. I never got to be the little princess in our class plays. I was either a daffodil or one of the three billy goats gruff or an Eskimo. I almost broke ever bone in my body because I was determined to learn how to skate backwards. I was a tomboy and there's no other way to describe me.
     
    One would think I'd have outgrown some of that at least, but if there's a bumpy hill to climb down, I'll be the one that ends up rolling to the bottom. I've honestly tried to be more graceful as I age. I've finally figured out this is not going to happen. Last month we had an ice storm which covered my porch very well. I didn't dare go outside because the last time I did that and slipped on the ice, I couldn't get up. My sister was there at the time and told me I'd have to crawl back to the door because she was not going to slip-slide out to where I was. This time I waited until the next day when half of the porch & steps where clear of ice and I eased myself down to the frozen grass to go to the grocery store. When I came home with my purse in one hand and two sacks in the other hand, I tried to be very careful to step only on the parts of the stairs that had thawed. Naturally, that failed and I fell "up the stairs" like a block of ice. I hit both shins on the bottom steps, the knees on the second step, my chest hit the third step which caused my chin to bang on the porch. My shins still hurt in places and I would not be surprised if I cracked a few bones since it's been a whole month. So, that's how I fell UP the stairs.
     
    This month (last weekend in fact) I was taking a shower. With my half-sized hot water heater, one has to turn the water on just long enough to get wet, then turn it off while soaping up and washing. That way when the water is back on, it's still hot. I always get soap in my eyes and I was fumbling around trying to find the tiny little shelf that holds my body wash when I dropped said bottle on my toe and it hurt like *%!@#!*x. I couldn't stop long enough to scream and hold my foot (we all know that helps) because I was trying to get all the soap off before the dang water turned cold. As I bent over to wash my feet, my rear end hit the shower door, sending it flying open and since there are no handles or bars in this shower I had nothing to hold on to although both arms were flaying around trying to grab something which resulted in my knocking several items to the ground, including the trash can. (Can you say coffee grounds on the carpet?) I don't think my body even bent. I felt out like a wooden plank with different parts of my body hitting various objects. Part of me settled on the frame at the bottom where the door closes, I'm not sure what my rear end hit but it's sure bruised & my head hit the bottom of the clothing rack when I finally stopped falling. The shower door does not open all the way back because the little hot water heater was installed right in front of it. We're talking a very small cramped spot and unfortunately when I came back to my senses I was still half in, half out of the shower on my back. I was already so sore and items that I managed to knock around in my vain attempt to stop my fall were now in my way. I was slick with water and I still don't know how I managed to get the rest of myself out of the shower. You should see the bruises up and down my back side! They're at the black/red/purple stage now and I have to be careful how I sit down in the chair.
     
    I have now made a vow to myself that I will no longer even attempt gracefulness. I'm already having visions of my son slapping me in a nursing home as soon as there's money to pay for one. Sad Well, I do remember saying I wanted to live long enough to be a burden to him.......I can't figure out why he's not acting burdened yet. All I can get out of him is, "Geez, Mom, ya gotta be careful before you break your neck." And I swear he has a twinkle in his eye every time he says that!

    A Break

    For some reason this blog is determined to be in "bold" no matter what I try. I really hate that because it will stand out so much one would think it was about something important. I'm actually just checking in because I used to be here every single day, but lately I've taken a break. I'm still crazed because Spaces messed up my Friends List & won't change it back to the way it was. Seems to take twice as much time to see anyone's complete site, plus it absolutely will NOT allow me to arrange my favorite friends so they're first. If anyone has found a solution to that, please, pleeeeeze let me know!
     
    My life has been up & down lately. My cell phone died, my microwave did too, although in that case it was a slow & agonizing death. Still, had to replace both. Today my electric heater followed the others to the grave. Fortunately, my landlords had another that I like even better so that saved me some $$.
     
    I have to admit that since I got satellite connection & the new tv for Christmas, I've been watching much more than usual. Plus all my regular shows have started. Anyone out there watching "American Idol" with me? Well, they already deleted one that I really liked, but as of now I'm rooting for Adam!
     
    We've been in the middle of cold rainy weather this week & it would depress me if I weren't already depressed. I wake up every morning & go to bed every night believing in my heart that God's in His Heavens, all's right with the world. But in between I'm still stuck in this old rickety room that leaks air, where the hot water tank is too small for a complete shower & no matter which faucet it comes from it stinks like sulfur, is crammed full of my stuff but there's still more stuff in storage that I'd like to have......like all my photo albums.
    Is any of that truly important? Of course not. That's just the state of my moody mind has been in lately.
     
    I'm going to do better, I promise. If any of you have missed my comments on your blogs, now you know why & I really will try to keep more up-to-date!  Luv my friends!
     

    Commercials

     

    I haven't blogged since the inauguration because I haven't been anywhere or done anything that anyone would be interested in.  However, I now have a complaint and I want to know how many of you share it.

    I hate commercials even more than I hate red lights. To begin with one can only imagine how many thousands of dollars sponsors pay for a 3 second ad on a tv show, when our economy is like it is. Their money could be spent in much better ways. But what really irks me is that during a 30 minute show on tv, you see many of the same ads over & over. Maybe it was cute/funny/interesting the first time, but by the end of the program you can only groan. Actually, the sponsors should know that most of us use commercial time to a) get something to eat or drink or b) go to the bathroom, so for the most part we aren't seeing the ads. For those that actually sit through them, I'd like to know how much of the ad actually sinks in, makes you buy/order the product, or even remember what the product was in the first place.

    I counted during an hour long show the other night & there were 6 commercial breaks. During each of those breaks there were 7 commercials. After the show was over, I could remember there was a car commercial, but not the make. I knew there was a diet commercial, but don't have a clue whether it was NutriSystem, Weight Watchers, or Jenny Craig. I did watch one ad where they were spouting off all the benefits of something, but instead of listening, I was trying to read the small print at the bottom which said something about "these are not real people, but paid actors." I wondered if I was the only one to notice that. Also on a lot of the ads advertising diet aids, while the people are going on and on about how much weight they lost, there is fine print at the bottom saying "these are not typical results, the average weight loss is 12-14 lbs., combined with diet and exercise." So what's the point????

    The only commercials that really stick in my mind are the ones with really cute babies, or some other type of critter. I mean, doesn't everyone recognize the GEICO gecko? Or the two squirrels in the road that almost get run over, but the last one makes it to the side just in time & they both do a "fist bump?" I have no idea what that ad is actually advertising, I just like the squirrels. Now there's one for some diet aid with a little fuzzy, orange critter trying to sabotage your weight loss plans. He's cute & I think it's funny when they xerox him. Can't for the life of me remember what diet aid it's for, however. M&M's always have cute ads & I always remember them, as well as the Budweiser Clydesdales. Still, after an hour long show in which I've been subjected to 6 commercial breaks, with 7 products advertised each time, if you asked me what ads I remember I'd be hard pressed to recall more than one or two. Each commercial lasts about 3 seconds, so that's 21 seconds for each break. The ads run so fast, it's no wonder no one notices the small print at the bottom of some.

    Furthermore, the ads keep getting more & more personal. Frankly, I don't care to hear about KY Yours & Mine, a female's feminine hygiene products, even when some are wrapped up in a pretty box with a bow on top, and I don't care about some guy's problem with ED. Not to offend anyone, but today I noticed a rather lengthy & very explicit ad for a massager that fits on one finger, has little rubber "legs" on one side & vibrates. I think that was the last straw.

    With ads in magazines, newspapers, billboards & the Internet, I wish sponsors would keep tv a little cleaner. I realize the revenue from those ads are what keeps shows on the air, but there's already too many shows on the air as it is and half of them are dumb anyway. Sponsors should spend their big bucks more responsibly in my opinion. I may resort to taping all of my favorite shows just so I can fast forward through all the misinformation & hyperbole I'm being exposed to! What do you think?

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    Inauguration Day

    Initially I wasn't going to blog about this. There was, and still is, more than enough coverage of the day and anything I say will surely be repetitive.  Still, the election of Barack Obama had a large emotional effect on me, largely because of the race issue.  I realize that had Hillary Clinton been elected I would have felt something over her being the first female president in our country, but the emotional connection wouldn't have been there for me.

    Maybe it's because I'm old enough to remember much of the atrocities people committed against those who were black. I well remember when they were forced to sit at the back of the bus. I remember that at the bus station we used at the time, there was a separate cafe clearly marked "Blacks." I remember the same for the two water fountains in the building, as well as the restrooms. I remember the red caps who were always black and I remember asking my mother what it was all about. She explained to me that some people felt blacks were an inferior race and white people did not want to associate with them, drink after them, or use the same restroom. It was okay for white people to have a black maid, but even then very little conversation took place between the two.  Mother also admonished me that "no one in the world, regardless of color, was better than me and that I was no better than anyone else." That indeed, we were all created equal.  I knew she thought segregation was wrong and from what I could see of the black people I came into contact with, there truly was no difference in our races. I was about 5 years old at the time, I knew people (some in my own family) who used the awful "N" word.  At that time I felt sorry for the blacks. Even at that age if I came within speaking range with a black person I always said, "hello." I didn't realize how much trouble that black person could have gotten into for simply saying hello back. At the time I was going to the Scottish Rite Hospital for treatment of a club foot. It was a black man who always but a cast on my foot, a black man who sawed it off. I still remember him. His name was Mark and he was one of the kindest, most compassionate people I'd ever known.

    Over the years I remember scenes from tv of police officers turning high blasts of water on groups of blacks, coming after them with guns, doing all they could to drive them back to the slums they lived in. I remember hearing of the KKK, I read books about black people and it reminded me of Hitler and his need to eradicate the Jews. In those instances I was ashamed that I lived in a country where the KKK was not only allowed to thrive, but often contained members of the very law enforcement officers who were sworn to protect all people.

    So while I watched the inauguration on tv, I remembered Rosa Parks, the four little girls blown up in a church, and Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech. I remembered his assassination as well as I remember John & Robert Kennedy's. I remember the night King died and someone very close to me said, "They should have killed the son of a b*tch a long time ago. Until then I thought everyone I knew felt as I did. I grew up that night. I cried not only for Rev. King and his family, but also for our entire nation and for all of those innocent blacks who had been slaughtered only because of the color of their skin.

    I'm glad Barack Obama was elected to the highest office in our land, not because he is black and I thought it was about time, but because I liked what he had to say. I've always felt John McCain was one of our heroes and I still do. Yet I more closely identified with what Obama was saying about the changes he would make. I don't agree with him on everything as is to be expected of any candidate. I hope he's able to bring real change to this country, change that carries over through the coming years, because our country as it is now, is so far from what our founding fathers wanted it to be. And it's far from what most of the American people feel it should be.

    As I absorbed all I could on Obama's special day and remembered how his race had to struggle to get to this point, just as they had to struggle every time they tried to reach any part of freedom, and I cried not just for them but for our whole nation.

    Parents

     

    Position Applied For:  Parent, Mama, Mom, Mother, MaDad, Daddy, Dad, Da-Da, Pa

    JOB DESCRIPTION :Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
    Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours which will include evenings,weekends & frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

    RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

    Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

    Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

    Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

    PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately.

    ON-THE JOB TRAINING: Offered on a continually exhausting basis.

    WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due
    when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

    BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs
    and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
     
    FOOTNOTE:  THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! 

    POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Becoming a grandparent.

    (Sent to me by my great niece, Shelly)

    Christmas & Casey's Birthday

     

    I have to admit my holidays were better than any I've had in years. I got to spend more time with my son & grandson that every before, as well as my family. Danny's ex-wife always set the schedule of where they'd be & when, so of course her family got them more than I did.  My future daughter-in-law pretty much asked me what & when I wanted to be with them, then she & Danny together planned the schedule.

    I started out on Christmas Eve, arriving at Danny & Keri's so I could ride with them to my family's home. Three new babies on that side of the family in the past year, none of them quite walking yet. My sister, her husband, her ex-husband, their two boys along with their children & grandchildren (her daughter & husband didn't make it) & we were quite a crowd.

    image imageimage

    Me With Son & Grandson        Danny & His Cousins            Most Of My Sister's Bunch

    We had lunch with them, then headed back to Danny & Keri's house where it was very quiet & Casey gets to open one present on Christmas Eve. They hung their stockings & ABRACADABRA Santa came, dropping off Danny's favorite present of all time.....a new tool box, complete with installed radio, lite & refrigerator!

    image image image

    Later in the day, they left to have Christmas with Keri's family & then to Danny's Dad's. I sat home & read all day. The 26th was Danny's birthday so I stayed over for that. Keri cooked him a big breakfast & I was able to give him his 40th birthday present on his actual birthday for the first time since he was about 15. By then I'd had enough family for awhile, so I toddled on home. Danny's ex-sister-in-law gave me the money to buy an HDTV, plus Danny & Keri gave me a subscription for Dish Network!!!

    New Year's Eve found me back at Danny's to teen-sit, but once I got there Casey decided to spend the night at a friend's house, so I had the whole place to myself. Blessed Peace!  New Year's Day was Casey's 14th birthday & we rounded up Keri's family, Casey's Mom & MiMi, Casey's Dad & half-brother, their Mom, Danny's dad & his wife, plus Danny's half-sister with her husband & baby Hunter Jason & tore off to The Main Event. Really good place to take kid for birthday parties because they have EVERYTHING.....bowling, arcade games, laser tag, cafeteria, all under one roof.

    image image  image

    Wishing Him Happy Birthday                 Hunter Jason, Danny, His Sister                  Bring On The Pizza!!

     

    image Casey & His Mom Getting Ready To Ride The Indoor Rollercoaster.

    All in all, it was the perfect birthday party, he raked in lots of cash for his savings account, & I enjoyed myself thoroughly.  It's nice that we can all be in the same place with all the ex's, halves, & steps & still get along! That didn't happen until this year. But Praise the Lord it did happen finally!

    Now that the holidays are over & I have a new tv, dvr & dvd, I've been like a hog in slop recording movies & watching all those channels I've missed for the last year.  Yippee!!!!!  Hope all of you had a good holiday & are ready for 2009.

    The Holidays....Bittersweet

    I haven't blogged for awhile because December is a bittersweet month for me.
     
    My mother's birthday would have been the 16th and the date she left for heaven was the 14th.  I'm so glad she's not so miserable and in pain any more, but gosh, I sure do miss her. I still catch myself thinking, "Oh, I've got to go tell mama......".
     
    Then I really hate the commericialism side of Christmas, especially with our economy as bad as it is. I've wished for years that we could all turn the clock back 20 or 30 years and try to change what we've let this holiday become. I see all the ads on tv, over and over, and I think of all the children right here in American that, when asked what they want for Christmas, actually say, "food and clothes."  Such sad little faces. I can imagine them watching the ads and knowing they won't get anything at Christmas, not even extra food. I know there are several organizations that help out, but I think of the little ones that slip through the cracks, the ones whose parents don't bother to put them on some list because they're only wondering where their next "hit" will come from.
     
    Yet this is the month we celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. He should be foremost in our minds, not "what on earth am I going to get for Aunt Martha? She already has everything."
     
    Don't mean this to be a downer. Just rambling about my thoughts.
     
    I really do hope that each and every one of you has a wonderful holiday and that you really do understand that "Jesus Is The Reason For The Season." Maybe you can pass that phrase around any chance you get!
     
    Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to all........
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

    Spaces Upgrade?

    Give me a break! This new update is ridiculous. I have yet to find anyone who really likes it best. I hate what it's done to my Friends List. I hate it that I can't arrange the people on that list like we could before the update. And I really hate that when you click on a Friend, you can't see their whole Space, just pieces of who they've become friends with & bits of their blogs.
     
    The whole purpose of Spaces was they we could customize our little corner of the net so it would look the way we wanted it to look & so other people could see what all we have on our space. As it stands down, we might as well delete everything on our pages other than the blog & friends.
     
    I know there are some bugs they are working on, but apparently the access to our Friends spaces is one thing they don't consider a "bug."
     
    Let me know what the rest of you think!

    P. S. To Last Blog

     

     

    I just received a letter from my Attorney today telling me that he will be filing an appeal to my hearing. This next Judge could decide to send it back to the last Judge for reconsideration, or he could overrule the last Judge, or maybe send it to a higher court for their decision.

    However, it could take up to 24 months for us to receive a response.  I didn't want to hear that, so I'm rejecting it outright & depending on God to make it all go smoothly & much faster. I hope you will all pray the same thing for me.

    I still pray God will give me the strength to endure & to bless my small savings so it will last as long as necessary. Afterall, if He could feed the multitudes with a few fish & a few pieces of bread, He can certainly handle my finances.

    I just wish I knew what His plans are for me, but since I don't, I'm taking it once day at a time!

    MJZ1687[1]

    Disappointed & Puzzled

    Most of you know that I've been disabled for two years now & finally had a hearing set before a Judge last month. It seemed to go very well & I was totally optimistic & felt more peace than I have since this all started. I had also cleared up a year long fued with my sister & God sent me even more peace. I had felt sure that was the one thing blocking my prayers to Him. I'm still extremely glad that I have my sister back & I've been trusting God with all my heart.
     
    Yesterday I got a 10 page letter from Social Security telling me the Judge had reached an "unfavorable" opinion. It went into detail telling what he'd based his findings on & many of the statements made were totally incorrect.  I can't express how disappointed & let down I felt.
     
    Of course my attorney will file an appeal, but even so we're talking another year+ before I can get an appeal hearing.  I was so optimistic that my first hearing went well, I was dreaming about being able to find an apartment, have enough money to pay all my bills, & get myself out of this one room shack I've been in for the past year.
     
    I'm totally puzzled now over what God's plan for me is. I thought I knew, but apparently I was wrong. He has taught me several things this past year & I praise His Heavenly Name for that.
     
    But right now, I'm feeling very down, trying to fight off the depression & still trusting that God will take care of me. This makes it harder to cling to my faith & try to be optimistic. I suppose we all have times in our lives when that happens. I still believe He has a plan for my life that He will reveal when He is ready.
     
    Those of you who pray, please pray that I will be able to withstand whatever happens now & that I have the strength to keep the depression away. I'm truly feeling lost & alone at the moment & sometimes it's very hard to pull myself up again.

    Never Forget Them

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    Cell phone is in your pocket.
    He  clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to  his dog tags

    The Cross

    You  talk trash about your 'buddies' that aren't with  you.
    He  knows he may not see some of his buddies  again.

    His Buddies

    You  walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty  girls.
    He  patrols the streets, searching for insurgents and  terrorists

    On Patrol

    You  complain about how hot it is
    He  wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his  helmet to wipe his brow.

    Eating

    Your  maid makes your bed and washes your  clothes.
    He  wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure  his weapons are clean.

    On Patrol

    Weapon

    You  go to the mall and get your hair redone.
    He  doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.

    Aiming

    You're  angry because your class ran 5 minutes  over.
    He's  told he will be held over an extra 2  months.

    Mail Call

    You  call your girlfriend and set a date for  tonight.
    He  waits for the mail to see if there is a letter  from home.

    Letter from Home

    You  roll your eyes as a baby cries.
    He  gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and  wonders if they'll ever meet.

    Crying

    You  criticize your government, and say that war never  solves anything.
    He  sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own  people and remembers why he is fighting

    Innocent

    You  hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men  like him.
    He  hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the  wounded.

    Burning

    You  see only what the media wants you to see.
    He  sees the broken bodies lying around him.

    Child

    You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You  don't.
    He  does exactly what he is told even if it puts his  life in danger.

    Resting

    You  stay at home and watch TV.
    He  takes whatever time he is given to call, write  home, sleep, and eat.

    No Sleep

    Wounded

    REMEMBER  our Troops, and do not forget them LATER

    Prayer

    PRAY for our Troops

    kitten

    GOD BLESS EVERY SOLDIER, EVERY DAY