He did it again! Yesterday I got a letter from my Attorney saying he needed to set up an appointment for me to be evaluated by a psychologist (which Social Security already did several months ago).  The attorney says this appointment usually costs them $450 dollars and if I will pay $100.00 now, I can pay the rest out at $79.00 per month.

I was wondering if he remembers I'm the one living on the rapidly decreasing savings.  Besides, if we win my case I have to pay the attorney $5,000 out of the "back pay" I will receive.  If I lose they get nothing, but naive me thought any charges would be included in that $5,000.  I guess this isn't covered because if I don't win, he gets nothing.  Still, I'm the one having to go for doctor appointments and fill out all this paperwork he keeps sending me. 

So, after getting myself all worked up about having to spend $450 (I just paid for an oil change, tire rotation and inspection stick, plus my tags) I threw my hands up in the air, sat myself down and turned it over to God like I should have before allowing myself to get all worked up.  When will I ever learn?

Late last night my landlady/friend called and told me she had one more envelope for me that was mixed up in her mail and it was a regular sized envelope, no return address, regular postage stamp on it.  I met her half way between our houses (it's very dark out there at 9 PM) and retrieved the envelope.  Got back to my humble abode, sat down and opened it.

Inside was a money order in the amount of $100.00.  The sender portion was left blank. It should have said: From - God with the return address "Heaven."  Whoever was touched by God to send it spelled my last name wrong and from the printing I suspect it came from a male.  Only males in my life are classmates, who all know the position I'm in.  Two of them sent me money back before Christmas, but they signed theirs & I thanked them via the Class Newsletter.  I suspect this was from another classmate & sent anonymously so I wouldn't be able to mention their name in the next Newsletter.  I hate not being able to thank whoever sent it but I believe completely in the law of reciprocity, so I know this person who has blessed me, will indeed be blessed by God.

The Lord is SO GOOD!

The Kennedy Family

What horrible news we all received today.....that Senator Ted Kennedy has a malignant brain tumor.  One doctor reported it's either a size 3 or 4 and located on the side of his brain which affects speech and movement. There have been so many tragedies visited on that family, so many deaths for Joe & Rose's children.  I don't care what political party he supports, he's done a lot of good for our country.  Of course, John Kennedy becoming President is one of my first memories as far as politics are concerned.  I liked him.  Back then the press didn't report much on our President's sex lives.  These days all politicians are being scrutinized and broadcast on every channel as well as in the magazines and newspapers.  That may be good. Maybe not.  Why was it that Bill Clinton's acts in the White House bother me more than John Kennedy's affair with Marilyn Monroe?  Because I didn't hear about Kennedy until long after he was gone, but also because Bill Clinton committed perjury when he stated those famous words, "I did not have sex with that woman."

Regardless of their morals, I'll always believe that John & Robert did much to assure we all had our civil rights. (And yes, I do remember the Cuban Missile Crisis, although it almost seems trivial now with 9/11 still casting its shadow over us).  And yes, I do think Joseph, Jr. really did attempt rape on that young lady and I know some of the children were messed up on drugs and even OD'd on them.  But don't we all know people guilty of that?

I know Ted Kennedy is a fighter, I'm not forgetting the young lady that went to her death in his car at the lake, I know he's had a drinking problem in the past.

I don't care about any of it, except that even with radiation and chemo Ted is looking at a year or two at most.  I hate that.  Ted's become a fixture in the Senate and there were and are many good things members of his family have given us.

I will be praying for Senator Kennedy.  I hope you will too.  Feel free to comment.

When I think of my Mother, I remember the coolness of her hand on my forehead, checking to see if I was running fever.  I smell the scent of Jergen's Lotion, which she used for so many years.  I remember all the years that she did without so my sister & I could have new shoes, or material for a new dress.  I see her so clearly squatting in one of the flower beds, pulling out every single little weed.  I see her laying in bed at night reading a book at bedtime.

I remember the times she made up games to entertain us when our television was broken.  She used to read to me before I could do it myself and made all the characters voices sound so real.  She taught us to love reading even when we had few books to choose from.

I recall all the times she rolled my hair & threatened me with another permanent.  I loved the feel of her fingers running through my hair.  She always knew what was going on in my head, often before I was even sure.  There was the night my boyfriend committed suicide & at bedtime Mama asked me to come sleep with her that night even though I was almost 15 & her bed was a twin.  I felt so comforted.

I don't remember Mother losing her temper when I was young.  I only remember her laughter, her smile, the twinkle in her eyes, the sound of her voice calling me "Honey" when I was upset over something.

As Mother slipped into the twilight of her life here on earth, I rolled her hair & suggested permanents.  I took her for drives around the old home town, or to the house she & my step-father had built & were so happy in before he died.  I remember paying for her last eye exam and glasses because she thought she couldn't afford them, although she really could.  Still, I gave her those glasses as a gift.  I helped her sort all of her medicine into her little weekly pill holder, I fixed her supper & served it on a tray in her room.  Then I'd sit on the edge of the bed & talk to her so I'd be sure she didn't try to carry her tray back to the kitchen herself.  It hurt her so much to walk & made me cry because I so wanted her last years to be happy & carefree.  But I couldn't fight Father Time.

I miss Mother so much.  I'd never been here without her.  She was the one constant in my life, never changing, always loving me & trying to help me.  I no longer have that since God took her home.  I still catch myself going for the phone to tell her something I just saw or heard, only to realize I can't reach her now.

I'm so glad she's no longer in pain.  That she's been reunited with all those that went before her.  And I miss her so very, very much.  She was the best mother God could have given me.  I loved her from the second she picked me up, oh I KNOW that I did.  And I loved her when she died.

But, Lord, I miss her....my mother, my best friend.

Happy Mother's Day, Mama

All my love.