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3 Blessings & 1 Curse in 2 DaysI'm going to make this a semi-regular topic on here, so this is just the beginning of how God is working in my life.
I got back on a regular schedule of Bible study & more than just regular habit of prayer several months ago. Because of the mess my life is in right now, I turned it over to Him yet again & asked that He to help me know Him better. A few weeks back I made mention of a problem I was involved in (not going into that again), but I was praying for God to help me release the bitterness I was carrying in my heart toward a certain person. Unfortunately, I got involved in another round of emailing yesterday, where I was definately letting the "Flesh" take over & that continued into this morning. After sending the last email, I was so upset & let down that I immediately started talking to God.......and I'm becoming more able to hear Him when He talks to me these days. Probably because I've been trying so hard to draw closer to Him & let Him teach me what I need to learn. And there's a LOT I haven't learned yet. I don't want anyone who reads this to think I have one of those "holier than thou" attitudes, because I don't. I'm still a sinner, saved by the grace of God. I let my flesh take over, instead of walking in the spirit, at least once a day, usually more. When what I should be doing is learning discipline & self-control. God & I have a long way to go, but I'm determined to stay the course. So this morning after I prayed, I heard Him tell me I was walking in the flesh yet again & immediately rushed to the computer to "unsend" the couple of emails. Too late, they'd already been read. I knew when I was "having my say" that it was only going to make things worse, but I gave into my anger & hurt & just kept on typing. I'm sure it is worse now & no attempts are going to set this one right for some time, if ever. I'm still praying God will help me become even more determined to follow His lead rather than my own. I'm still a sinning in the middle to God sending me blessings. Unbelievable, but learning to do what God wants one to do & having the self discipline to stick with that is hard work for me. Still, I know God has me in the palm of his hand because I received 3 blessings right in the middle of this mess. I suspect since I've been praying so hard lately & asking Him to give me the determination to keep trusting Him, He decided miraculous measures were called for in light of what I was involved in.
Blessing #1 came yesterday when Kay H. (a good friend & former classmate) gave up trying to be sneaky & sent me an email to say she knew when God was speaking directly to her & for the past month she & Raeford have been looking at laptops FOR ME. I won't go into details the confusion & emails involved while she tried to worm info out of me about what I wanted on a laptop (I thought she was getting one for herself). She had to finally give up & tell me her secret. She's delivering it to me tomorrow because "Santa" Raeford wasn't sure where I lived. Those two are going to be blessed 10 times over for this. I know she knows what she's talking about because as much as I wanted my computer, for the past week or so when the thought of having to put it in storage that once made me want to cry, now just gave me a calm, peaceful feeling. I took that to mean God was going to do something else in my life once I got moved, so that I wouldn't even miss my computer. (But I have several good Christian friends online & attend Bible Study on line every Sunday night & I was really going to miss that). This was definately from God & not only did I get blessed, you could have knocked me over with a feather because of the love they were showing toward me.
Blessing #2 came in the mail this afternoon, from Barbara (another friend & former classmate), who sent me a $50 bill & told me she hoped that would help me a little. It certainly will because my prescriptions are expensive even with the help of PPA. I know God is going to bless that lady & I'd been praying for her & her knee problem for months, until God brought it under control.
Tonight I got a phone call from another friend & former classmate, Linda M., & was totally surprised to hear from her. We pretty much lost contact after school until the class reunion we had this spring. Still, I hadn't talked to her since then & yet here she was on the phone, totally "out of the blue." She thought she was calling to tell me how sorry she was to hear that I was having to move & give up my computer & wanted me to know she'd been praying for me & would continue to do so. She couldn't talk long because she was using up her daughter's minutes, but she mentioned mammograms & I told her I'd had a diagnostic one in January & they'd found a suspicious looking nodule. I was supposed to have a follow-up one in 6 months to be sure it hadn't grown, but by then my insurance was gone & I sure couldn't afford to have it done, because I'm still juggling 2 bills from the Hospital for part of the other tests they did last year. It was then that she told me I could get those taken care of very easily by talking to the lady in charge of my account & telling her my situation. Apparently, there are charities that step in & pay for things like that & it was the only way she was going to be able to have hers done. I'd never heard of that. And no, I'm not ashamed of asking for charity from the hospital. (My 40 years of tax dollars at work!) Then she told me how to solve the problem I was having with the charges for 2 of my prescriptions because of the way the pharmacy's computer system is set up. That was actually 3 blessings in one. I think. Anyway, we're going to talk again in a couple of weeks, I'm still praying for her, she's praying for me, & God's going to keep blessing us both. Of course, getting my little cabin was really blessing #1 since it came straight out of the blue also!
So don't think for a second that God doesn't bless His children.....even as we are sinning. Same way he did back in biblical times, you gotta pay a price for your sin, but if you belong to God, He turns right around & blesses you too. Praise His Holy Name!
(and I'm so very thankful that's He forgives us when we repent).
I'll keep ya posted on how this walk continues..........
Christmas CarolsWhat in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas? Today, I found out. From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality -The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ -Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments. So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas Carol...so pass it on if you wish.'
I'll Be Back Someday.........This will probably be my last blog for who knows how long. My son took the first load of stuff to the storage building tonight & plans on doing the same every night until it's all moved. THEN he's going to start moving me to my little cave...err...cabin. I wish he would move me first, but he has to wait for a friend of his to help with the heavy stuff. Dang, that sounds like he can't move me until the friend comes to help!
We went out to the little bldg. this weekend....all the windows have been calked around so we know the yellowjackets aren't getting in that way. He still needs to calk around the 2 dinky little ceiling lights and.....fix them so they'll be just a tad nicer to look at. Although I don't know why cause the entire inside needs painting & we don't have time for that. Plus he's got to stretch the carpet & glue down the floor in the bathroom.
Discovered there's no way to have my refrigerator & washer/dryer both. The window a/c unit is in the way. So....the washer/dryer will go to storage & I'll learn to use a laudromat again.....don't even know what they cost anymore but I bet it's not 25 cents anymore.
I told him he has to leave the tv & computer until the very last. Period. I'll be paying storage instead of Charter very soon, which means cancelling my AOL account & therefore no email. I'll live. I just won't have a computer or cable tv again unless/until Social Security comes through, which could be anywhere from a year to 4 or 5, or so "they" say.
Check back from time to time or if you want to be notified when I'm back online, email me at: SusanCTX@aol.com within the next week.
I hate this, but I still firmly believe God is taking care of me and there are things He wants me to learn.
So long for now~~~~~ Boxes & More BoxesI'm getting impatient to get this move from the apartment to my little cabin done & over with. No matter how many times I go out there, once I get home I can't remember if there's space for this or that. We're still fighting yellow jackets when the weather warms up so the landlady keeps setting off bombs inside & I don't want to take anything out there until that's over with. Last I heard they make even call an exterminator (which I suggested in the beginning). Meanwhile, Danny's having problems getting anything fixed because of the little critters, plus he's trying to get all the overtime he can for Christmas.
I'm waiting for the load of boxes he's promised me, but every time he attempts to bring them, it pours down rain. At least he managed to get the plumbing leak in the bathroom fixed. I've packed all I can until I get boxes & I'm probably taking more out there than I'm going to have room for, but guess I can always turn around & take stuff back to the storage building. This is the first time I've ever had my stuff in storage & I suspect God knows the less stuff I have around, the more I'll learn to really get to know him. It's one thing to study the Bible, but a totally different thing from actually "knowing God." I need that. We all probably have preconceived ideas of "who" God is, but I wonder how many of us really, truly know Him. I hope to make progress there.
My main area of focus right now is how one moves everthing on their desk that they use all the time to a place with no room for a desk. I suppose it's all going to have to go in a storage box, stuck under the bed with all my scrapbook stuff, but that's not really convenient. I think we too easily allow ourselves to be spoiled to what's "handy" that we don't have to expend any energy looking for. I think there's a lesson in that too, and I'm going to learn it, like it or not. At any rate, my scrapbook supplies have to come with me. I keep hoping someone will hire me to do scrapbooks for them, but alas, no one has so far. And I have to take my painting materials. Anything that doesn't look new has to be painted or it drives me nuts. My landlady has all sorts of yard ornaments that have bleached out to white & I'm going to talk her into letting me paint the darn things! Good way to stay busy.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to pack what I can (then I have to stretch out in the recliner with a pain pill for at least an hour), so it's slow going even if I had boxes to put stuff in. Maybe I'll just stick it all in garbage bags and hope nothing gets broken!
It's really a strange feeling to think of living without all my "stuff" at hand, but I think I'm looking forward to it....almost. Taking load #3 to Goodwill tomorrow. I sure wish I could sell this computer desk. It's the "corner" type, with a rack for CD's, shelves & cubby holes, & a dropped keyboard holder. I need a plain one with drawers, which my sister told me at the time, but Ms Stubborn here wouldn't listen. Oh well, it'll be in storage so I won't have to mess with it anyway.....although if anyone reading this lives close by & needs one, let me know ASAP & I'll throw in the chair for free! I also have a king size solid white comforter with the pillow shams and bed skirt that are almost brand new. With that comforter one needs know blanket because it's so warm & cozy. I'm going to really miss that, but again if anyone's interested I'll deal!
Okay, enough of my ramblings for the time being. Just wanted you to know I'm in a "holding pattern" & not gone yet.....still have 20 days left until I have to be out of this apartment. I hope the yellowjacks cooperate. |
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